some pieces of my secrets

Someone told me a while ago that I didn´t have to be happy all the time. Truth is I never realized that. I never knew being sad is part of life. And as much as I come to understand this, it only makes me confuse because I believe that in order to be whole I need to be happy, to pursue happiness. And I always believed I deserved to be happy, as happy as one can be. But, unfortunately, it is not like that, not for me at least. And it doesn´t matter how much I try to be in a better place, it doesn´t matter how hard I try to be complete, it never depends on me and it should or life will always be unfair.

we are made for each other

both of us are afraid

yet desperately longing to know each other completely

we fear and crave the impossible

Maybe

so I was thinking, that maybe when we die we regret things done or undone, and maybe people say that they regretted they were selfish.

I never thought I was selfish, on the contrary, I always thought I give all I could. maybe that isn´t good enough.

then I realized that maybe my only mistake is not being selfish. maybe the right thing to do is being totally selfish. At least someone will be thinking of me.

Me.

Have you found what you´ve lost?

Sometimes and again, I catch myself thinking that I´ve been through worse and it makes me wonder how much of my time I spend trying to convince myself that life is worth it.

The overwhelming feeling of grief or sorrow or loneliness or emptiness is tangible.